Disciplining Your Children!

 

I have always tried to help and counsel people for the betterment of their families and that’s my main aim in fact being a counselor to restore family values in today’s world. I have gone through a book where some good suggestions were given for disciplining the children. I have read it thoroughly and edited it. I am happy that I am posting this article for today’s parents.

 

MEANING (of discipline)

• Teaching moral behavior

• Teaching what is approved and what is not approved

• Teaching to behave according to Social standards

• Teaching Self control

• Teaching Self determination through self direction

• Acquiring a sense of responsibility

ELEMENTS

• Rules & laws – for approved behavior ( for guidance )

• Punishment – for violations of Rules & Laws ( disobedience )

• Rewards – for socially approved behavior

TYPES OF DISCIPLINE

AUTHORATAREAN DISCIPLINE

• It is a Traditional form of discipline

• Based on old saying – “ Spare the rod, spoil the child”

• Children are expected to obey the rules set by the parents at any cost.

• No opportunity given to express emotion, feelings about the fairness of rules & laws.

• Children are subjected to cruel & harsh punishment for violating the rules & laws.

• No rewards are given for obedience of rules & laws

• No consideration for the reason of breaking the rules.

• Obedience of rules is their duty – means they have to do.

PERMISSIVE DISCIPLINE

• It is a revolt against the authoritarian discipline

• No tough rules are given in this type of discipline

• The philosophy behind this type of discipline is that, children will learn from their own mistakes

• No punishment for violation of rules

• No rewards for their obedience of rules also.

• It fails to fulfill all 3 essential elements of discipline. (It is abandoned by parents today).

DEMOCRATIC DISCIPLINE (Prov. 22:6)

• It is favorable form of discipline in today’s world.

• Rules & laws are explained to the children. It allows them to understand the advantage of obeying the rules & laws.

• Reward is given for obeying the rules for encouragement.

• Punishment is given reasonably (according to the mistakes).

• Reasons of violation are always taken into consideration.

• Children were given opportunity to give their opinions about the fairness of rules & laws.

SUGGESTIONS (while disciplining)

• Study each child.

• Treat him according to his age, disposition and temperament.

• Make them understand the purpose behind the rules.

• Give them sufficient opportunities for Experience, Choice and Action.

• Encourage good habits & obedience.

• Discipline should be positive not negative.

• Encourage & allow him to act in his own way.

• Do not surround him with a series of ‘DON’TS’.

• Guide him to do / behave in a right way.

• Punish him with PATIENCE & HUMOUROUS way.

• Remember children do make mistake.

• Remember that threats & warnings do more harm than good.

• Lead & Guide them by example. If you do mistake before them, you cannot teach them or correct them. So, be an example.

Parents! Please take care of your children. I wish you all the best. May God Bless you all.