Conflicts in a Marriage!

No husband and wife are same. They vary considerably from each other. Since two persons are different from each other, disagreements and conflicts are bound to occur. But how fast they come back for reconciliation is important. It shows that how far a married relationship is healthy and matured.

The reasons behind the conflicts in marriage are as follows:

Reasons

Background: We have come from different backgrounds. We come from different family backgrounds with different upbringings, different ideologies, different value systems, different mindsets, so disagreement between husbands and wives are inevitable because of the differences. Disagreements between different issues give birth to conflicts.

Money: Sometimes conflict arises due to money matters. In fact this is the most common reason of conflict between the married couples today. When the couples disagree on different issues like ‘what to buy’, ‘why to buy’, why did you spend so much’, ‘why can’t I spend’ etc. then conflict starts between them and they fight on those matters.

Children: Parents always want their children to be like them. Sometimes the father wants his children to be like him and the mother wants the same. Sometimes while choosing the right school, right college and right vocation for their children we find there are differences of opinion among the spouses.

Spiritual Status: Husband and wife vary from each other in regards to their spiritual depth. Those who are spiritually weaker than the other, they get angry and show immaturity in their behaviours. And conflict arises.

Selfishness: When the spouses think of their selfish motives then conflict has to come up in between them. I think this is the major cause of conflict.

Lack of Tolerance: Husbands or wives having lack of tolerance could also give rise to conflicts among them. As husbands and wives we should daily practice to increase our tolerance level.

Too much Expectation: Sometimes too much baseless expectation from each other creates problems and give rise to conflict among the married couples.

How to resolve conflicts?

By God’s love: God’s unselfish, sacrificial love can really erase the conflicts between the souses. 1Cor.13th Chapter defines love like this: “Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails;” Yes! This kind of love can drive out all kinds of differences between the spouses.

By Discussion: A healthy and peaceful discussion always helps the couples to resolve the conflicts between them. Communicating someone’s views and ideas are important in a discussion.

By Apologising: This can be done in many different ways, which are as under:
i. By showing your humility
ii. By appreciating his/her views
iii. By gifting flowers or any other gifts
I think apologising is the best way to resolve a conflict in a marital bond.

By Bible reading and prayer: Reading Bible together can help in resolving the conflicts. As we all know that the Bible is a eye opener, it can open the couples’ eyes and they understand their mistakes. Another thing is when we read the Bible, the spirit of God speaks to us through His words and that convicts us and helps us to reconcile with our partner. Prayer also can change couples and they apologise to each other for the differences they have created previously.

By Sexual Attraction: Many may not agree with me, but I think the gift of God to the married couples does wonder in times. Sexual attraction for your partner forces you to resolve quickly and have sex with your beautiful/handsome and attractive partner. So my suggestion to all the married couples is to keep your sexual orientation with your respective partners open. It helps a lot to resolve conflicts.

May God bless us to understand the reasons of conflicts and resolve it as quickly as possible to be with our respective partners in love and peace always.